


Bed, Bath and... BABY?!

by kat8cha



Category: Leverage
Genre: Curtain Fic, Domestic Fluff, F/M, M/M, Multi, POV Multiple, Threesome - F/M/M, schrodinger's pregnancy really, sort-of-not-really pregnant Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 11:44:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4478054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kat8cha/pseuds/kat8cha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parker decides that before 'the baby' arrives in their lives she and her boys need to go shopping for curtains. Eliot and Hardison are left scrambling, questioning whether 'the baby' is a *baby* or if this is just one of Parker's quirks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bed, Bath and... BABY?!

“We’ve never gone shopping for curtains.” Parker says. She’s behind Eliot, he’s in the middle of slicing up chicken and one of these days he’s going to cut her. It’ll be by accident, entirely by accident, but he’ll do it because she keeps sneaking up behind him.

“Dammit, Parker.” He sounds off. His voice, his breath, it sounds like he is trying to control himself. He wonders, sometimes, if it gives him away.

He sets the knife aside and turns slowly. “Curtains? Why would we need-”

The kitchen is all chrome and state of the art equipment. Plenty of counter space with one little kitchen table pushed against the wall. It’s big enough for two, just big enough, but that doesn’t stop Hardison and Parker from forcing Eliot to squeeze in there with them. Parker hops up straight onto the table to talk to him, even though it barely gets her off the floor.

“We’ve never gone shopping for curtains.” Parker says, like added emphasis or repetition will help her make more sense.

Eliot stares.

Parker makes a frustrated sound.

“Curtains! You know. Curtains. It’s always Hardison picking things out by himself but curtains are…” she pauses, “they’re important aren’t they?”

“…” Okay. He. He sort of sees what Parker is saying. He wonders where she picked this up. Was there a couple talking in the pub? Or was it something out of a book or television show? It could just be… Parker, something she picked up as a kid and has carried inside of her for ages. “Do we,” he motioned between the two of them, testing to see whether this was a need for them to contribute to the home situation, “or we,” he motioned around the room, including the invisible Hardison, because it could be a relationship thing, “supposed to be curtains.”

Parker nodded, which means Eliot must have finally understood. “All of us. Because it’s a thing. It’s like getting married, which it isn’t legal for us to do yet, but we should do it before the baby gets here.”

Eliot reaches behind him to grip the countertop. “What baby?”

It could be a new robot of Hardison’s, something Parker and Hardison cooked up together and are cooing over, it could be… it could be a real baby. It could be a new kid that Parker thinks they should incorporate into Leverage and for some reason things is… is a baby. Their baby?

“Are you pregnant?” He doesn’t squeak.

Parker smiles at hime, blithely, and then skips out of the kitchen. “PARKER. PARKER GET…” he can’t leave the food alone, “GET BACK HERE!” Well, if he has to rush dinner prep so he can go interrogate Parker he will.

\--

Hardison is elbow deep in circuitry when Eliot walks in. “Hey,” if it was Parker he would have added a ‘babe’ but Eliot is… Eliot’s weird about the relationship thing. Since Hardison’s also dating Parker that says something about… he’s not sure. About his type, maybe? Or maybe it says something about most career criminals. “What’s up?”

Eliot folds his arms and settles into a classic ‘grouchy mcgroucherson’ pose. “Is Parker pregnant?”  
If Hardison had been working on a car, or like, under a table he totally would have bashed his head in. As it was he just yanked his arms out of his latest creation fast. “Is Parker. Is. Whoa.” Then it hits him. “Oh, oh man you’re talking about the baby. Right. She ask you about curtains yet?”

Hardison personally thought the curtains thing was a little weird. They had shades, didn’t they? And the windows were the kind that you could signal to tint if necessary. Hardison didn’t think they needed curtains but, he’d been told, curtains were a necessity. And hey, if his babe wanted curtains? Curtains she would get. Personally Hardison would have looked them up online, did a little research, then ordered them and had the professionally installed (do you professionally install curtains? Hardison didn’t know, he had been ordered not to google it) but Parker said that the experience of shopping for curtains was important.

For the baby.

“Yes she asked me about the curtains.” Ooh, growly grouchy mcgroucherson. “I was asking you about the baby.”

Hardison looks at Eliot, really looks at him, and can’t offer the man more than a shrug. “I didn’t actually ask, man. If she’s pregnant then…” well, he’s not really sure how it would have happened, he’s pretty sure (pretty sure) that if she was planning on going off birth control she would have told them but accidents happen. Accidents happen all around. And maybe… maybe she wants a baby and this is her way of telling them? Biological clock + Parker? “We’ll have to roll with it.”

Eliot’s face is doing that ‘dark and shadowy Batman’ thing that it does when he’s having a big internal argument.

“Are you freaking out?” Because, hey, he’s cool with… okay, he’s not really COOL with the idea of having a baby. Babies are scary, and messy, and noisy, but if a baby is in their future… well, he’d love a kid. His kid, Eliot’s kid, didn’t matter, it would be Parker’s kid and that was the important thing. Their kid. “Is this about…”

‘Your dad?’ He doesn’t say it, doesn’t really need to say it from the way Eliot’s mouth twists. 

Hardison checks to make sure he can leave his bits and bobs in piece before standing up and stretching. “We can go talk to her if you want or,” he sniffs, it smells like dinner is coming (his stomach growls) “I can go ask instead?”

Eliot glances over his shoulder at the kitchen then looks at Hardison. His eyebrows do that up and down decision making dance before he nods. Hardison grins, claps Eliot on the shoulder, and heads off to find their girl.

\--

Parker is dangling from a complicated harness over their bed when Hardison walks in and looks up with a smile on his face. She likes his smiles, each of his smiles, well, she doesn’t always like his fake smiles, or the flirtatious ones he wears when he has to flirt with a mark, they make her jealous, but all of his REAL smiles. Those she loves. Likes. Loves. Okay, loves. She loves him and Eliot and she’d kill someone if they tried to take the two of them away from her.

Or, she’s pretty sure she’d kill someone. Maim them, definitely, no doubt, kill… well, she might just set them up for a really TREMENDOUS fall and have them go to prison. Prison, after all, was definitely worse than death.

“Hey, babe.” Hardison lay down on the bed so he could look at her as she wiggled through the straps that decorated the ceiling. She’d gotten the idea, partially, from watching the Hunger Games, the high ceilings in the bedroom had been Hardison’s idea entirely. “How’re you hanging?”

“Can’t you tell?” She sometimes felt really obvious with Hardison. Like, sometimes Alec could read her feelings better than a museum map. Sometimes, though, she still confused him. She liked that. She liked still being a puzzle. She was a fortune cookie wrapped in an enigma. Or no, an enigma wrapped in a fortune cookie? No, that wasn’t it… Wasn’t there supposed to be a riddle involved?

Ah yes, an enigma wrapped up in a riddle stuffed into a fortune cookie.

Now she was hungry.

“I think you scared Eliot with the ‘baby’ thing.” Hardison watches her move. He likes to watch her work, she likes to watch him work, but watching Hardison practice isn’t as much fun for her as when he watches her practice. Although, when he builds things or practices with the fun toys (not just the hacking or coding things which are generally a lot of typing) that she likes to watch. She also really likes to watch him weld, there is something about him in a tank top holding a welding torch...

She drops onto the bed to stare up at the ceiling alongside him, her fingers doing quick work of the harness. “Not much scares Eliot.”

She isn’t sure if she’s defending herself or not. She kind of is. She… well, she knows she should probably explain herself. Surprises, though, are more fun than explanations and neither of them have really come out and said they need to know. Or asked quite the right questions. Hardison just accepted the idea that there is a baby arriving and moved on. Eliot sometimes requires… no, he doesn’t really require more. He’ll accept it and move on too, though she isn’t sure she wants that. Sometimes Eliot wants more. He doesn’t often ask, though.

“I think a baby might.” Hardison helps her get the harness off then turns on his side and holds his hand over her stomach. When she nods he carefully touches here there. Like, like he might if she was… “Do you want me to ask?”

Parker thinks about it. Then shakes her head.

Hardison nods and grins. “I like surprises.”

Parker grins back, then she reaches up and brings his head close to hers. She presses a kiss to his mouth. She isn’t generally the first one to start kissing. She likes to… well, she generally waits. Hardison is the most affectionate of the three of them, unless one of them has recently been injured or threatened he’s always the first one to touch.

The door to the bedroom was left open. It doesn’t creak anyway and Eliot wouldn’t knock before walking in. He does rap on it with his knuckles to get their attention when he realizes that they’re just going to lie on the bed and kiss.

“Dinner’s ready.” His voice is rough and Parker smiles. It’s the kind of rough he gets from watching them. She likes that roughness.

Hardison does too.

“Can dinner wait?” She asks, hand out for Eliot to join them.

Eliot takes a breath. Sometimes dinner can, sometimes it can’t, sometimes they ruin dinner because they get distracted. Tonight, he nods his head, and sits down on the bed, and twines their fingers together. Hardison strokes the back of Eliot’s neck while Eliot leans over to kiss Parker’s smile.

Parker kicks the harness off the bed (it can handle it) and slides herself up the headboard. Eliot and Hardison follow, Eliot has his fingers underneath the waistband of her pants, Hardison reaches for the buttons on Eliot’s shirt. (Eliot growls against her mouth when Hardison’s tugging pops one off.) Getting undressed while trading kisses and unwilling to stop touching one another takes a lot of practice (which they’ve had) and skill (which they’ve developed) and a willingness to kick and toss clothing around the room. Underwear would be trickier if Parker wasn’t a master at getting out of her bra one handed, with her other hand she pulls down Hardison’s boxers. Eliot lies between her legs and pulls her underwear down to her knees with his teeth, then finishes pulling them off with his hands while his mouth takes on a different job.

She gasps against Hardison’s throat, like she does every time, she’ll never get used to it. 

She never used to know what this feels like. There are people in the world who will never know what it’s like to have sex like this.

Hardison kisses her, on the forehead, on the tip of her nose, on her chin, her throat, her breasts, he stops and pays attention to her breasts while Eliot makes her gasp again (and again). He likes her breasts, likes how perky they are, likes the taste of them, the feel of them. He likes to drag his tongue over her nipples, sometimes he likes to just suck, or circle, and now and then he uses his teeth (just a little, he’s shy about it) and she orgasms once just like this, her boys giving her pleasure.

Eliot still has his underwear on. Parker arches her back and bends her leg and catches the band with her toes. She drags it down her thighs while Eliot, who has what Hardison calls ‘an oral fixation’ moves to mouth at Hardison. He has a fondness for Hardison’s legs, like Hardison likes her breasts, he likes to touch them, kiss them, likes to lick at the back of Hardison’s knee which makes him giggle.

He giggles now.

Parker hides her smile against the side of Eliot’s neck, nips him there (gently, like a kitten, he says) and slides her hands down Hardison’s chest, then back up. She isn’t sure what part of Hardison she’s most fond of (for Eliot, she really, really likes his hair, and his mouth, and his voice) it’s hard to choose. She likes his hands (she kisses the back of his hands, licks at his fingers, sucks at them while Eliot sucks a hickey on the inside of Hardison’s thigh and he complains that they are teasing). She likes his wrists, the taste of his pulse on her tongue, she likes to trace the veins up his arms (which tongue and fingers) and of course she likes his arms. She likes his back too and when they get themselves turned around she kisses his shoulder blades, scratches her nails down his back to his butt in a way that makes him arch forward (in a good way) and then she spanks him, just a little, and he moans (a lot).

Parker spanks him again, just a little, and cups his butt in her hands.

Maybe, maybe she likes his butt best.

Or, no, she thinks, when he turns to smile at her over his shoulder.

His smiles.

His smiles will always be her favorite part of him.

Each and every one of them.

Or, well, most.

\--

It takes them a week to find the perfect curtains. They visit two shops a day except on Thursday which is spent doing a quick and fast take-down on a very, very dirty, nasty man (which their curtain shopping tipped them off about, so score one for curtains!) and Friday where they only visit one store because it’s the last store because they find the perfect curtains.

Eliot and Hardison spend Saturday installing them, bickering all the while. Parker watches, a smile on her face, and shoves Eliot’s copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting back into the couch cushions where he had, poorly, hidden it last night.


End file.
